i keep my hair looking the bombdest

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I kind of think my hair is great. To think, I hated my hair when I was little. But in my defense, I had this hairstyle for awhile that was very Hasidic Jew. Anywho... it took me a really long time to find the hair products that moisturize my hair situation and keep it in check. I hope one day you all will be given the gift of fabulous hair!

Random. I know. Leave it alone.

Love you too!

Lesson 1: Drama's no fun when you're not the one causing it.

Yea, so, I was talking to my friend Marcel, he is what you would call a "man's man"(trust me--great friend, good guy, but wow, I would steer clear if I were you--I tell him this on the regular) and we were discussing men and women as usual. I DO agree with him, women love them some drama--I don't care what you say. My mother puts her stamp of approval on this as well. Now, I am not talking cheating on your man drama/throwing his clothes out the window drama, just the "why don't you buy me flowers, so and so gets flowers". You know you do it/have done it, I've seen you--don't even try to play like you haven't.

Por ejemplo: Me? I LOVE attention, just like B. Spears say, "give me, give me, give me, give me MORE", and when I'm not getting it, someone is going to know. So yes, I may have caused a little drama in the past to get my point across, but all worked out in the end and I got the attention I deserve. Yes, I said DESERVE. It's serious in these streets, thanks. Unfortunately, I have learned, when you're not causing the drama, it's not fun and it is no longer a game.

Imagine this, He/She makes you happy, you make them happy--it's pretty much an euphoria that you never want to end. Then imagine texts, phone calls, conversations, anything or everything that have no business sprouting seeds in your fantasy land.

Now maybe I have matured as a woman, but circumstances have made me realize I am no longer interested in drama, causing it or being on the receiving end of it--because there's nothing in it for me. It's not fun anymore. I'm not 16. I know you're not interested in singing "the boy is mine" in your room (although, I call Monica if shit hits the fan) and neither am I. If there's one thing I learned, when a man wants you, he wants you. You won't question his motives and he WILL bring you flowers. His clothes will stay hung in his closet--no need to throw those clothes out the window--because you're his woman.

For me, I will remember what he said a while back, when I wasn't even sure what was happening or what I was feeling, just understanding it was so organic and natural, he said "I think I love her though, everything is wonderful". And at that point you can just turn back, smile and skip forward (and pray to GOD that line was about you because you just blogged it).

No more drama, thank you Mary.

Stop Hating Me, Because I Love You!

As much as mis amigos like to think I'm boo-ed up and this is to blame for my absence, it's quite the contrary. I am the party planner. I am your go to girl. I am your life. Ok, I am really not. Not at all actually. But I pretty much make your world-go-round. Ok, not that either, but I like to tickle my fancy every once in awhile. I have really not went ghost in any way shape or form. I have just been busy. Busy on a shoot. Busy contemplating my next moves. Busy getting up at 5am to work an 11-hour day with no lunch. Busy sleeping. Busy being sick. Busy not being able to sleep at night because I have developed asthma (ok, not that either, just sick). Ok, so yea, busy with my man friend. Busy trying to network and schmooze. And finally, too busy to call/text/gchat/aim/email all you heffers to get us all together. More importantly, I am lacking vitamin D right now, so I have pretty much shut down for the winter. Luckily, I have invested in some multi-vitamins, some other miracle vitamins, upped my omega 3 fatty acids and should be your party girl once again. So please stop hating me; I love you and I always will. I can be your party girl once again, if you just let me back in.

kisses.
e

Keep your crazy to yourself

That was some advice I recently received. Weird, huh?

Let's apply this advice to a hypothetical situation, which may or may not be my life.

There's this guy, lets call him "Big" to be really creative. Big pops up here and there when I want him to, takes me out, is a good cuddle buddy and that's about as far as it goes. Well, I'm assuming we're friends, because we've already been there done that and I am NOT going through that again. But him, being the kind of man he is, likes to call things dates, just for kicks. BUT unlike a friend and LIKE a man that is really not that into me, he only "pops-up" and is not to be confused with a reliable, worthy of your time, man (friend or otherwise). So just the other day, when he once again did not do what he said he was going to do, I wrote an email that went a little something like this:

"Look, I don't go on dates with MY friends. I don't cuddle with MY friends. And I am not going to develop feelings for my friends. Do me a favor, lose my number."

Well, I guess this is crazy. So had this situation been real, I wouldn't have sent this. And had this situation been real, I would obviously plan to stay as far away from him as possible, before I send him something like this. Hypothetically that is. Keep your Crazy to yourself.

He's just not that into me and I'm just not into THAT

So I'm reading this little book a friend lent me called He's Just Not That Into You. Let me forewarn you, it's a tough read, well not really, but lets just say my friend in New York picked up the book at Barnes & Noble, read a few pages, and set it back down, refusing to ever pick it up again.
Long story short, as Greg told me (Greg is my new friend, he wrote the book) "Don't waste your pretty". Here are some of the things Greg and I talked about last night (and by talking I mean I read the words of a man I hardly even know, Ok, I don't really know him at all, but that's not the point).

1) If a man is into you, he's going to try to ravage your body every chance he gets.
i.e. I'm not saying sleep with the man on the first date, I mean that's your deal, but you should be given every chance to shut him down. Men like the chase and mark my word, I'm going to give it to them just the way they like it, the chase that is.

2) If a man is into you, he is never too busy to call to say he is busy.
We've all had the "too busy" guy. He's so busy, so stressed, blah, blah, blah... excuses, excuses. In the age of texts, instant messages, email, gmail, whatever may be putting wind in your sails... 2 seconds can be taken to say "hey beautiful". That's it. Because obviously if a guy is into you... you'd be tired, because you've been running through his mind all day.

3) If he's dating other women. He's not that into you, he's into you AND them. Either way, do you really want recycled goods? EW.

4) He's not the one calling, emailing, texting, instant messaging or showing up at your doorstep with 2 doezen roses.
Well he might contact you JUST enough to keep you around, but that's just it, it's JUST enough to keep you around. Hey, I've been there too, I've even done that to men. Don't be THAT girl. I'm not going to be. Quick, someone please confiscate my phone from me. Thanks in advance.

5) I'm not ready, I don't want a relationship right now, I don't trust women, I don't want to mess our friendship up...I'M NOT INTO YOU. Move on, stop wasting your time love. Hanging around will probably make him detest you, and you don't want to be detested. BUSH is detested.

What I am trying to say is I've been doing a lot of things wrong. There are probably a handful of men on this earth who are into you; I've met 2 and I'm 23. They made me feel amazing. I want that again. I'll have that again. READ THE BOOK.


P.S.
Is this even realistic?

He has NO idea...

That's it. I just thought I'd put that one out there.

Swagger so yesterday?

" i hate swagger. the concept of "swagger" or "swag" is so incredibly played out and lame and ran into the ground to me now, it is disgusting. its not even cool anymore. i hate when people (especially n*ggraz) learn a concept and try to use it all the damn time, and they kill it. i dont even think i'd like it if someone told me i have "swag", i actually would probably take offense to it more so."

-Poor, unsuspecting friend who has no idea his emails are no longer a two way conversation

Yes, I do understand your irritation of the “swagger band wagon”. BUT, you have to remember the history and creation of swag, because in reality not everyone has swagger. And there are different definitions of swagger and those who epitomize it all. No doubt, J has swagger. He has it in his music, the way he dresses, the way he talks, his persona is swaggered out. Common has a swagger, kanye, 3000… you KNOW they have swagger. BUT now everyone is trying to capitalize on the idea of swagger. Swagger in essence, is a form of inherent cockiness that someone might have because they are just THAT good… BUT to get the swag… people have to also be able to see it. THAT is when you have swagger. But I will agree with you, swagger is being abused. WTF? TI MIGHT have a lil swagger… ONLY because he is short and insignificant and he presents himself with a certain aura of I’m not sure exactly what, but I still believed him when he said I could have whatever I like. Similar to weezy F baby (please say the baby). BUT I would say their swaggerdom is definitely on a different level than others… a lower level… one that DOES NOT cover all bases of swagger-ness. So you see , yes I understand the thought of everyone claiming swagger is not appealing… but you have to remember swagger in it’s most purest form. So ONLY be offended of being accused of having swagger if that person is a wayne head.


My friend Terrell says, "I think 3k is the most swaggerly person on the planet. But with him I wouldn't say it's cockiness, it's his extreme humbleness combined with something..."

Which possibly is what epitomizes it all... respect for the game.





That is all.

Sorry, I'm going on a tangent. Oh wait. My life IS on a tangent.

Sometimes I find myself in conversation with a friend, talking about our careers, men, friends, family, life, whatever comes to mind. Sometimes I find myself dominating the conversation. At this point I apologize for going on a tangent. But then I realize, "my life IS a tangent" (thanks Anu). My stories never have an ending because they are a continuous tangent of something that should have ended a long time ago. I am a Sagittarius in all aspects of the meaning, thanks to my cousin Anna, I understand this fire sign, which has either blessed or cursed me (give me a couple years to figure that out). I have the "peter pan" syndrome, I never want to grow up. I am unmistakably fun and bubbly MOST of the time, especially to those who are on the outside. But because of this, people sense an overwhelming sense of naivety. To top It all off, I want everything NOW and I need a constant change of scenery in my life (interpret that as you wish). So you can see why my life is on a tangent, I'm a spazzy little kid trapped in a twenty-somethings body. There is actually no hope for me or for my mother who has a heart attack every time I tell her my "new" idea for my life (little does she know, I actually have had 5 new ideas since I walked into her house). Or for my friends who have to undoubtedly be the most patient people on earth to listen what man I am into this season and all the drama I have caused (by myself, did I mention I want EVERYTHING now) and how to fix it. Or to my coworkers, who I am sure think I am a lunatic, but still have lunch with me everyday. Or to my cousins, who accept the fact that I am a space cadet.

Sorry, I am going on a tangent.

I just threw up in my mouth a little...

Why is it that women constantly need clarity? Why do we wonder why he's acting this or that way? Why is it we question what's going on? Why are women the ones who think about the future? Why aren't women more like men? Why can't we just go with the flow?

Every woman I have ever come across wonders why. Men always say they'll never figure women out and quite frankly, they're ok with that. Women on the other hand want to know the meaning behind every action, word, touch, kiss and glance. And if we can't figure that out, then dammit, we need to know why we can't. What is it in women that makes us want to know everything? Why can men just go with the flow and are ok with that? I've went with the flow, that current took me down stream, in the wrong direction. Men on the other hand do it daily and are completely satisfied



Why is it that as women we over analyze things and say things that didn't necessarily need to be said? I'm just going to throw this out there, I am DAMN good at saying the wrong things...all of the time. You think there's a moment that can't be ruined? Well I must have not been there, because I have a bad case of word vomit.

Some like to call women like me "planners". I like to think of us as "clarifiers". But getting clarity on life is sometimes unnecessary. Do you really need to know what your friend is wearing tonight? No. Because chances are you're going to be wearing the same thing you planned on wearing. Do you need to know why he's acting this way or that, doing this or that? No.

I want constant clarification. Where are we going? Who's going to be there? How is so and so getting there? Should this be happening? Is this ok?

I can answer all of these questions myself. Same place we've been talking about. It doesn't matter. It's not your business. It's already happening, get over it. Yes.

Going Dutch with a French

It's a common misconception that when a man asks a man out on a date, it means he's actually going to pay for anything. In the generation of "chillin", "kickin it"or my personal favorite "watching a movie", it is understandable how an entire gender could get the whole dating thing wrong. I guess men now get credit for JUST asking a woman out on a date.

Women and men in their early twenties are used to being broke, TOGETHER. But now that we're both raking in the dough (I use "raking" loosely, as in I don't eat ramen for dinner 5 times a week) it's time for that transition. Where men have to be men. I mean we're not asking for a marriage proposal on the first date, we're asking to avoid the awkwardness of the moment between the last bite and when the bill has arrived. Just grab the damn check and please, if for some reason the woman says "oh, I can pay for my meal" (if you listen closely this is said very unenthusiastically), do NOT say ok. Because she does NOT want to pay. She wants you to say "no, I have it" (preferably said VERY enthusiastically). Even if she offers to pay the tip, it's still a N-O. Wait until the um-teenth date when you two are out for ice cream or something really cheap to even consider this.

If you can't afford dinner, then don't ask us to dinner. Take the poor girl to the Museum or the botanical gardens, aka, free.

And girls, whatever you do, don't go dutch with a Frenchie. It's just wrong.