So my search is over, I know what my next step in life is, a baby. Seriously, I think it's the thing to do. A few weeks ago my girlfriends and I went to a picnic and one by one everyone arrived pregers or with a kid. Although,I do have to hand it to those bold individuals who chose to test the obviously sick and twisted humor of the gods and arrived with their slobbering pooch. Good for them.
Now don't get me wrong I heart kids, but DAMN, when did this happen? When did I reach the age when having kids wasn't taboo but looked upon as just the next step? Because I'm pretty sure I've done some semi-positive and semi-memorable things thus far and what do I get? Somebody's adorable, bundle of joy that makes you forget about all the hate in the world. HOW the h-e-double hockey sticks am I suppose to compete with that? I mean I could win the Nobel Prize and I'm positive my mom would be like, "So, have you been on a date lately? You know every month you're wasting an egg."
I now know what I must do. Instead of waiting for this Mr. Right to come along that everyone keeps telling me about, I will win the lottery, go to the minute clinic (I mean I really don't have time to go to the sperm bank, they HAVE to be able to do it there) and knock myself up. Then I'll be rich, with child, pop that sucker out and call it Pear (not to be confused with Apple).
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